09 September 2009

Blog Standard Stuff

Life is good. Like, really good... I still feel like i have nothing to write about, or rather to say, nothing to write about that I would like to broadcast to the world (of seven people who read this blog, thanks you guys, make this all worthwhile:P), but I do feel like i have to blog. So, I think I'll do what I did last time, and randomly spew forth farcical follies from the toxic waste container that is my noggin. Enjoy!

(viewer discretion is advised, some sentiments may contain strong language and/or frequent uses of the word "umbrage")

I like that word, umbrage... I wish I could use ot more often, or even at all, but then I often wonder if I were to use it so frequently, would I be as fond of it? Or would it become a heroin-like addiction where each use of the word wouldst deliver unto me untold ecstasy as though from the halls of Valhalla itself, and I would be forced to create situations whereby the use of the word would not only be considered not unusual, but in fact necessary? I'd become a mad man, ringing up Liveline to tell Joe Duffy the exact quantities of umbrage I had taken when I heard about the fact that "Nice" biscuits aren't really all that nice, and the Consumer Rights Commitee won't do a goddamn thing. I seriously love the word though...


Say it, you know you want to...

MICHEAL MOORE! I mean, really, where does he get off eh? He's now releasing a film about how capitalism is the world's greatest evil, and that he is the voice of reason in a sea of batshit insane voices. Look, Micheal Moore is a good filmaker, but that's the problem. I enjoyed Bowling for Columbine, it made me think, but his guerilla filming style is not a substitute for hard facts. It's sensationalist, and everything that I really don't like in a serious political issue; it clouds facts, sullies arguments, and according to some reports just plain makes some shit up. It was entertaining, and if Micheal Moore were to turn his hand to directing mockumentaries in the style of say, Spinal Tap or The Office (UK version, US is good, but less of a mockumentary, more of a sitcom), then i would probably like the guy, but as it stands, by sensationalising his points, doing wild stunts, and then standing brazen faced and saying they have real political merit, he becomes, in my eyes, a bigger joke than the ones that were no doubt hurled at him during gym class as a kid. (Come on, it's Micheal Moore, I couldn't sidestep a fat joke... or him, without breaking a sweat. ZING!)

I like big cups of tea, for some reason they taste better. I know that doesn't really make much scientific sense, but really, I prefer the taste of tea when I know I'll be drinking it for an hour, and slowly turning my insides brown in the process. A tea swimming pool would be a sort of heaven for me... In theory. In practice I'd be horrified at the thought of all the hidden plasters, urine, and copious amounts of sweat that would be lacing my beverage. Icky...

Facebook: How? I mean, I've finally joined the new networking craze (I say new, I mean new to me, sorry about all you technophiles out there who prefer to be in contact with three billion people in seventeen different ways, when one or two seem perfectly ok to me, but whatever), and I just cannot use it. I initially joined to see some photos, with the intention of purging myself from the bittersweet embrace of its binary prison after viewing. I reneged on this however, as I felt it would no doubt be necessary for future viewings of visual delectation, but was found out not so long ago, and now have people joining me and invitations to stuff I don't understand, sort of like going out in Waterford.
     It's hard to say I don't like facebook, because really, I dunno, it presents itself with all the fervour of a little child with a new trick that it's eager to show you. You know you may not be entertained by the trick, but you'll watch and clap, and play along, as you don't want its feelings to get hurt. Again, it isn't that I don't like facebook, it's that IT doesn't like ME. I sign in and am bombarded with stuff I don't want to do, and then when I try to do the stuff I actually want to do, it becomes a coy little bitch, thows a coquettish smile, winks and asks me to try harder. I'm going to stick with facebook, if only out of sheer spite, but I feel I won't like it...
     Coincidentally, if you're ever online, leave a comment/message/stone tablet/whatever you leave on facebook, and once I can get it to stop playing hard to get I will get back to you... Maybe...

Well dear friends, we have reached the end of this once seemingly endless path, and what have we learned? Absolutely bugger all I assume, but I hope you've enjoyed my wasting of your precious time, I know I sure did. 'Til next time kids, just remember that when the pupil is ready, the teacher will come.

(That is also true of altar boys and priests, but for legal reasons, cannot be mentioned on this blog.)

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha. :D
    Gahhh, you are amazing.

    I like Spinal Tap. We go all the way to eleven..